But what to make of this passage from his newly released memoir, Hitch-22?
When it comes to syntactical eloquence, I don't presume to be on the same level as Professor Hitchens (although I flatter myself to believe I could hold my own with him, glass for glass, in an alehouse of his choosing). But I confess I am bumfuzzled by this construction.She [Hitchens's mother] never liked any of my girlfriends, ever, but her criticisms were sometimes quite pointed ("Honestly darling, she's madly sweet and everything but she does look a bit like a pit-pony.") yet she never made me think that she was one of those mothers who can't surrender their sons to another female.
First of all--and most obviously--isn't it the rule that a statement in parentheses has internal punctuation only if it's a stand-alone sentence? Besides that, however, the successive clauses beginning with but and yet just don't make the right music. If I may, Dr. Hitchens...
She never liked any of my girlfriends, ever. Her criticisms were sometimes quite pointed ("honestly darling, she's madly sweet and everything but she does look a bit like a pit-pony"), yet she never made me think...Better, no? I'm going to assume that Hitchens, who I understand likes to work deep into the wee hours, was well in his cups when composing that passage, and no editor felt up to the task of challenging him on it. But I'm well into the Shiraz now myself, and I belch out a hearty, "J'accuse!"