Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Failing a Lab Test

This morning I went for my semi-annual blood-tapping, so my doctor can tell me that my bad cholesterol is too high and my liver enzymes are enzyming in an improper fashion, so lay off the cheese and red wine. We go through this ritual regularly, but what the hell, this is Canada, and the tests and doctor visits are free, so I play along.

Before the plasma-pullers could get their needle in me, I was stopped short by this sign [click to enlarge] in reception--a jumble of words and colors and odd spacings that could create confusion, or even, dare I say, panic. (If people are getting fevers or coughs on entering immediately, this lab needs to be shut down by a Haz-Mat team in crinkly white spacesuits).

My suggested wording, for what it's worth, would be: "If you have a fever or cough, notify a lab assistant immediately on entering." But I'm just a cheese-eating wino who is too wimpy to watch the needle go in, so what do I know?

A bonus for keen-eyed viewers: "fragrance free" in the other sign should be hyphenated.