A Fairly One of a Kind Situation, Kind Of

According to The Now, our tri-cities community paper, some local residents have been arrested after taking delivery of a tombstone from Iran--a tombstone stuffed with almost 125 pounds of opium.

"It's a pretty unique type of secretion method," a police spokesman is quoted as saying.

I know it's unfair to hold spoken statements to the same standards as written communication...but tough noogies, Dudley Do-Right. I'm still going to point out that "unique" is an absolute that means "one of a kind." There can be no degrees of uniqueness. You can't be "very" or "pretty" unique (nor can your secretion method), any more than you can be "sort of" pregnant or "slightly" dead. But in this case, you can be so busted.