Thursday, May 06, 2010

One Fish, Two Fish, Drunk Fish, Puff Fish

Someone on the staff of the Province was having fun yesterday.

On Page A16 of today's paper is a story about an enthusiastic imbiber of spirits named Richard Laurie who says he got drunk in a bar and accepted an offer from a stranger named Tyler to drive him home in his--Richard's--truck. Truck crashes into parked car, the mysterious Tyler flees, and ICBC (the fascistic Insurance Corporation of British Columbia) refuses to cover the damages, alleging that Richard was driving drunk and that Tyler is a bad work of fiction. A judge, however, rules against the evil empire of ICBC, saying they failed to prove these allegations. 

No grammatical violations to report in the piece, but I was amused by the whimsical rhyming headline:

On the same page, below this story, we have the tale of the counterfeit cigarette smugglers (the cigarettes were counterfeit, that is; the smugglers themselves appear to have been genuine). It seems the crafty criminals secreted the cartons of fraudulent butts in a shipment of kitchen sinks arriving by sea from China, but were nabbed by sharped-eyed Customs officers.

The headline for this story?

I think someone in the headline-writing department has been channeling Dr. Suess.